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While every relationship is different, abusive relationships share one thing: a pattern of behavior designed to gain power and control over another person. Whether it’s financial restriction, emotional manipulation, threats or physical violence, every tactic has the same goal: control.
Keep learning. Keep asking questions. And if you or someone you love is in an unsafe relationship, know that you’re not alone and help is here when you’re ready.
Nearly 1 in 3 women in the U.S. will experience domestic violence at some point in their lives. And while physical abuse is often the most obvious, emotional and psychological abuse are just as damaging and even more common.
The type of abuse most people think of – physical abuse involves the use of physical violence to maintain control over an intimate partner.
Examples
Hitting, slapping or pushing
Restraining movement or blocking doorways
Denying medical care
Using weapons or threatening
Strangulation, sometimes referred to as “choking”
Emotional abuse chips away at a person’s self-worth and is often one of the hardest types to spot.
Examples
Constant criticism, name calling or blaming
Gaslighting (“You’re being dramatic – that didn’t happen!”)
Humiliation in public or private
Possessiveness or isolation
Many abusers control household finances without consent. Without access to finances, survivors may feel trapped.
Examples
Not allowing the victim to work
Controlling all income and spending
Sabotaging job opportunities
Purposefully ruining your credit
Sex without consent is abuse, even in a relationship. Consent isn’t always just about saying, “yes,” it’s about feeling safe to say “no.”
Examples
Forcing or pressuring sex
Using threats or guilt to coerce intimacy
Refusing protection or sabotaging birth control
Assault while asleep, intoxicated, or afraid
Abuse through technology is real and growing. It’s not just about “checking in” – it’s control masked as concern.
Examples
Demanding access to passwords
Tracking the victim’s location through their phone
Sending constant messages to monitor whereabouts
Posting or threatening to post private photos
Faith should never be used to silence or trap someone, but many abusers use religious beliefs to further control.
Examples
Quoting scripture to justify control or violence
Using religion to shame a victim into staying
Forcing religious practices or preventing them entirely
Claiming divine authority over a partner’s choices
